Sharing joy and knowledge from an ordinary life

Tony Robbins: Why we do what we do

I was sent this video to consider prior to my next Transformational Leaders session.

I watched it over the holidays but I couldn’t remember why I needed to watch it so I merely enjoyed it as background noise whilst I did something else. Here are some notes now that I’m paying attention.

Why do you do what you do? What drives you?

The invisible force is our internal drive. Emotions are important. With our minds, we can rationalise anything. When emotion comes into it, it changes the way we approach things.

What makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives?

  1. The science of achievement- how you take the invisible and make it visible- your dreams.
  2. The art of fulfillment is rarely mastered. The science can be learnt but fulfillment is an art. It’s about both appreciation AND contribution.

If we ask others why they haven’t achieved something- they say they didn’t have the money, time, knowledge, technology or the right manager. These reasons may be accurate but they are not the defining factor. It’s never resources but resourcefulness. 

If we get the right emotion then we can get through to anybody and we can therefore achieve anything. This is the ultimate resource we have.


Decision shaped destiny. 

When something happens- what are you going to focus on? We give that focus more meaning. This meaning produces emotion. Emotion then creates the resulting action. Sometimes, our decisions don’t shape just our own lives but others’ lives too. In fact- we may change whole societies and cultures.

State. After the heat of the moment, you might regret what happened. The world around us and the state we’re in affects us greatly. Our model of the world shapes us in the long term. To influence others, we need to know what shapes them in the first place.

What are our needs?

Once we have the target need, we don’t form it, we uncover it.

What are the belief systems that define how we’ll reach each of our needs?

Then there’s the fuel we pick. 

The six needs are:

  1. Certainty (of being comfortable)- How will we get that? Control everybody? Stop smoking? Develop a skill? Give up? But if you’re certain about what’s going to happen and when, you’ll get bored.
  2. Our second is uncertainty- these are problems but we need them. Variety is important. Step away from certainty!
  3. Our third is significance- We all need to feel important, special, unique- we can get this by making more money, being more spiritual. The fastest way is through violence. If I have a gun and I threaten you, instantly, I’m significant and I’m certain that you’ll respond to me but there’s an exciting level of uncertainty for me too.
  4. Our fourth need is connection and love. Most of us settle for connection because love is too scary. But we need it. We can have it through friednships too.

The last two needs are those of the spirit. These are the ones that will give us fulfillment.

5. Growth- we must grow. If we don’t grow then we get bored and we stagnate. We grow so that we have a value to give to others.

6. Giving- we can now give this value to others.

Which need do you value the most? This tilts us in a different direction towards a different destination. Our map is the how we’ll reach the destination and the lengths we’ll go to in order to get there. The last part of the map is time. If we have a target need and a map, we have the time allocated and the last thing is emotion. Consider empowering and disempowering emotions- how many do you experience in a week and which weighs heavier at the end of the week?

Explore your web: the needs, the beliefs and the emotions that are controlling you.

You’ll have more to give and you’ll be able to appreciate what’s driving other people.

My writing commitment: I’m learning to honour my thoughts. I’m learning that my words can be shared before I’ve connected all the dots or learned everything there is to know. My writing can be a snapshot of a single moment in continually-evolving time.

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